All She Wanted Was A Fish
by Lunwe
Summary: All that she wanted was a fish for her cat, but Lunwe ends up with a delusional elf Prince and when her friends try to help out, choas ensues. What Legolas did when he was in Lothlorien... . Written with Mornie Alantie and Larien Redleaf
1. The Fishy Beginning

This is what happens when a friend (Mornie Alantie) and I were so bored that we decided to play a story game. We each wrote a paragraph and then sent it back to the other.  
  
Disclaimer: One day I WILL own Lego.. . mebe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but SOME day. What?! I don't, can't and will never own him or anyone of Tolkien's? Aww *sobs*  
  
All She Wanted Was Her Fish  
  
Chapter 1:  
  
Lunwe Celebleaf was strolling along in her garden one day, looking for the fish she had tossed down from her window to feed her cat. The cat had screeched and hurried away because the fish was trice its size, but Lunwe didn't want to waste a good fish so she wandered down from her bedroom in Lothlorien to look for the fish she had dropped.  
And instead of finding her fish she bumped into Legolas Greenleaf who was in Lothlorien with the Fellowship on their way to Mordor. She scowled at him for getting in her way and preventing her from getting her nice fish. In the mean time Gollum had somehow broken in to Lothlorien unnoticed and had picked up the fish singing, "We only Wish to catch a fish! So juicy sWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!" At this Legolas turned around to see what had happened and she ran past him to her beloved fish.  
'I apologize milady,' the blonde elf shouted after her, 'did I disturb your hunt?' Lunwe turned around and ripped the dead fish out of Gollum's mouth (Gollum: "noooooooooooooo.my preeeccciouussssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!") she turned and chucked the fish at Legolas' head, it hit hard and the elf turned and blacked out. The Lunwe realized what she had done; she had put the Prince of Mirkwood into a coma.  
"O Elbereth!" She muttered. Thranduil was going to kill her, and Galadriel, and Gandalf, and the killer FAN GIRLS!! "O no! O Sh*t! And other curses in Elvish, Dwarvish, Westron, and all other languages that she knew. That was quite a lot compared to the other elf maidens, but not all of them were insane like her. She knelt beside the Prince and pokes him gingerly, expecting him to bite. "You can wake up now, Please!"..  
Water, that always worked in kiddy cartoons she watched, she ran to Galadriel's mirror and found the little pond empty, with a snarl she pulled the mirror off its settlement and carried the large dish to Legolas, which she poured over his face in one go. He was still unconscious. Maybe a bit of pain will help, Lunwe thought, she picked up one of his limp arms and bit him of the wrist as hard as she can, she left an impressive set of teeth marks, but the prince was as out of it as ever.  
Elf Prince tasted good she thought as she sat back on her heels deciding what to do. She thought of what the girls in her fantasy books would do, she would NOT kiss him, she decided instantly. In past meetings with the Mirkwood elves she had learned that he was a snobby, obnoxious elf who only thought about him self and his bow if she thought about it. His Bow! That was it, she slapped herself on the forehead for her stupidity. But his bow was on his back, which he was lying on. She tried to push him on to his side, but he wouldn't move, heavy sack of potatoes, she thought as she used all of her strength to flip him over.  
She finally managed to kick him over with her foot, there it was, the bow.she picked it up and waved it over the elf's face. 'HEY PRINCY!!! I GOT YOUR BOW!!!! AND GUESS WHAT???? IM GONNA BREAK IT!!!!' She pranced around waving the bow, the prince lay limp, well, Lunwe thought, guess I'll have to try some action. she bended the bow, further and further..  
*SNAP*  
Lunwe stared dumbly at the two pieces of bow in her hands, connected a shred of string, the elf lay still. Oh DAMN! Lunwe thought desperately, I killed the prince AND broke his bow! Then she noticed a short, pointy figure coming towards her, and saw a flash of pointed red glasses frames.  
The figure seemed to be staring at Legolas so she didn't notice the creek in her path swollen to the brink with floodwater.  
*SPLOOSH*  
Well that was one headache she didn't have to worry about. She turned her attention back to the prince. What was she going to do? All she wanted was the fish and she had ended up with an unconscious elf prince and a broken bow. She had to get him out of sight, and soon she realized, if she could somehow revive him at least half her problems would be gone. She grabbed the Prince by his arms and began the long arduous struggle back to her room, which she decided would be the safest place to put him until she decided what of Middle-Earth to do with him. She halted, weary from the short haul along the ground to get to the entrance of her house, and stared. She stared in shock at the long, seemingly endless flight of stairs which on most days she loved so much..  
'Oh GGGGOOOOODDDDD he's heavy.' Lunwe moaned as she finally propped Legolas onto her bed and threw a sheet over him. Great, now where am I supposed to sleep? She thought, well since he's unconscious. she decided, and threw herself wearily on the bed beside the limp body of the blonde elf. Then she remembered, she had forgotten the broken bow, she pounded her head and raced down fifty flight of stair, stuffing the remains of the bow down her shirt, she panted as she struggled up the stairs for what seemed to be hours. She finally got into the room, and stared in horror, Legolas was gone, but his clothes lay in a heap in the middle of her bed.  
  
"O Eru! Save me!" She stared numbly at the bed. It was then that she became aware that the door to her bathroom was open and there was something in the bathtub. To make it worse it was singing! She shrieked a slammed the door shut, breathing heavily she leaned against the closed door. The thing had blond hair; she came to the shocking conclusion, so it had to be Legolas. "O my Valar!" She moaned in despair. At least he was awake, she thought glumly. She felt something poke her in the back, resisting the urge to shriek again she grabbed. The bow. Great, one more thing to deal with. She flopped glumly on to her bed, not sure what to do with it.  
Lunwe sat on her bed and gazed sadly at the bathroom door, great, she thought, wait until Rose hears that a guy had a bath in her bathroom. suddenly the elf came out, wearing only a towel tied around his waist. Lunwe stared, dumbstruck, as the elf walked across the room and didn't seem to notice her. His eyes were closed, he must be sleepwalking, Lunwe realized, and groaned, it was dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, she had heard, even fatal, so now she was stuck with an unconscious elf that walked around wearing nothing but a towel.sigh! There was a knocked on the door. 'Lunwe, you there?' It was Rose, Lunwe gulped, 'What's up with you? Let me in!' Not sure what to do, Lunwe reached out and opened the door.  
  
Rose saw the door open to a bare crack; Lunwe's normally happy face looked drawn and worried. "What is troubling you?" Rose asked, her face a picture of kindness.  
Lunwe glared at her, "If you don't count the knocked out, half naked, sleepwalking Prince of Mirkwood and his bow that *I* broke, nothing is at all the matter." Rose's face was a mixture of shock and laughter as she learned of Lunwe's predicament. "You've certainly gotten your self into trouble this time." She concluded as Lunwe finished telling her about her *wonderful* day.  
Lunwe glared at her, the betrayer, she thought as she stared at Rose with narrowed eyes, she's Laughing! Rose saw the look on her face and quickly endeavored (A/n: English class is *fun*! Ya rite) to put a look of sympathy on her face. "Well, my friend," Rose tried hesitantly, "I mind as well come in and see if we can fix your little problem here." Lunwe gave one last hard look at Rose before she open the door wide enough to let Rose in and turned around. The sight that met her eyes caused her to release her second earsplitting shriek of the day.  
  
'Holy sh*t!' Rose exclaimed, the prince of Mirkwood, still in the towel, was smearing a bottle of Lunwe's favorite sparkly burgundy nail polish into his perfect blonde hair like hair gel. Then he turned and headed to the bookshelf, where he opened an imaginary door and picked up a book, then he combed his hair with the book and got the nail polish all over the leather binding. Rose watched in amusement while Lunwe mourned the loss of her beautiful nail polish.  
'He must still think he's in his own room.' Rose observed, 'I wonder where he keeps his food in his room.' Legolas turned and went back into the washroom, opening the medicine cabinet he pulled out a tampon, Lunwe flushed a deep red, but then turned white when the prince started trying to eat it, crunching the plastic and pulling the string out of his teeth at intervals. Rose was in hysterics, laughing uncontrollably; she got up and shoved Lunwe on the arm.  
'Hey, at least he didn't try and eat a used one!'  
  
Lunwe turned pale at the thought; it was just too disturbing for her already troubled mind to handle. Rose saw her face and decided to end this catastrophe now. She walked up to Legolas and slapped him hard across the face. He collapsed immediately to the floor, a trail of nail polish behind him. "O my Valar!" Lunwe yelled, "What did you do to him?" All other ranting was put aside as she heard a groan from foot level. The Prince opened his eyes blearily and looked around. "He's awake!" Rose murmured, not daring to hope. It was then when Legolas noticed his surroundings, and even more terrifying, himself.  
'Sweet Eru where am I who are you why am I.O PRAISE VALAR!!!!!!!!!' He screeched as he caught the reflection of himself on the mirror, his precious hair blobbed with sparkly, dark red nail polish and himself naked except for a towel around his waist.  
'What have you DONE?????' He ejaculated  
'What have WE done?' Rose went up to him and Lunwe groped in confusion of how she was going to explain the bow. 'YOU'RE the one who used all her nail polish and got her book dirty! Oh yeah, and you tried to eat one of her TAMPONS!'  
Lunwe gasped and choked.  
'Tampon?' Legolas blinked, 'pray tell, what on Middle-Earth is that?'  
Then Rose told him, explaining step by step, with every necessary and unnecessary detail of the origin and use of a tampon, although she did omit one detail, she didn't tell him that it was a new one.  
Legolas turned red, then white, then as green as his name, and then with a scream of utter terror he fled from Lunwe's bed room, still wearing the nail polish and nothing but the towel. Rose and Lunwe gazed amusedly after him.  
'Wow,' Lunwe said, 'look at him go!' Rose licked one of her fingers and raised it into the air; she grinned and turned to Lunwe.  
'You ain't seen nothing yet, wait until this wind catches.' 


	2. Where O Where Has the Little Prince Gone...

Rose (Mornie Alantie) Wasn't online for some strange reason, say maybe having something better to do with her life than me *looks puzzled*. But Cicy (Larien Redleaf) wanted to join the fun so this is our chappie! I have nasty friends..:P  
  
Disclaimer: Yup, Legolas belongs to Tolkien... *sob*  
  
All She Wanted Was Her Fish  
  
Chapter 2:  
  
Rose was quite right, for the wind picked up rather quickly and soon there was a snowstorm. Lunwe was still moaning when there was a knock on the door and Legolas crashed the door open. "Oh great," Lunwe thought, "Another thing to explain to my parents."  
"That's it! I want to go home!" Legolas whined. "I want my daddy!"  
So Lunwe was stuck with a broken bow to explain to a whining elf and a very annoying friend. She was thinking about sticking an arrow through herself a couple times when someone sauntered in with a big nasty smile on her face. "Now, if it isn't Lunwe with another problem? Your door was open, so I guess that means I'm invited." Cicy, positively wet from the dunking underwater Lunwe had given her, sat down on the sofa, leaving a relatively big wet spot.  
Lunwe scowled. As if things weren't mad enough.  
"Don't say it or think it..." Rose whispered.  
"Say what?" Lunwe frowned, wondering what her friend meant. Then she thought, "Well at least things can't get any worse." And right then, Cicy seemed to wake up out of her smug expression, noticing Legolas for the first time.  
"LEGOLAS!" Cicy basically threw herself next to the elf. "What is WRONG with your hair? Is that a TAMPON hanging out of your mouth?"  
Rose threw Lunwe a devastating look. "You thought it, you... person!"  
"Yaagh!" Legolas leapt up with a cry. Cicy followed him as he ran around Lunwe's room like a dog going after her favourite bone. Lunwe blinked as she watched the scene unfold. Her eyes became as round as saucers as she saw the devastation that could unfold of one tiny thread of the towel unraveled. The fabric around Legolas' waist was starting to come off. Lunwe, thinking quickly pointed out the window, "Look! Cicy, its Elizabeth!"(A/n: The girl who Orli kisses in Pirates of the Caribbean) Cicy turned, snarling like a dog and threw herself out the window, screaming; "That bytch! I'm gonna kill you slut!"  
"Ok, there's one problem solved," Lunwe thought wearily as she plunked down onto the bed, which was very messy from the desperate chase that had occurred moments earlier. Rose picked up the Prince's discarded clothes that were still lying on the bed. "You, in the bathroom changing!" She ordered the Prince sternly.  
"But I want my mommy!" Legolas whined. By this time, Cicy had flown downstairs. (Yes, I can fly) He pouted, setting off a temper tantrum.  
"A little help around here?" Lunwe glared at Rose, who sat on the sofa enjoying the whole scene. Lunwe dragged Legolas into the room and began stripping the towel off and trying to stuff his own clothes on.  
Rose snickered as she heard tiny whimpers from the elf, "No, you're hurting me! Stop it!"  
And just then, everyone for the next 15 miles heard a great cry of joy from Cicy, "OMG! IT'S OLIVER JAMES!" ...and the echo after that, and the next echo, and.. .  
Lunwe grimaced as she handed Legolas his tunic, she wondered what exactly she had done to deserve this. Was it when she accidentally shot Elrond in the leg? She had been haunted for days at the thought of his face frozen in the freaky eyebrow position. She squeezed her eyes shut to narrowed slits as she tried desperately not to see anything that she did NOT want to. Which would have been the whole elf in front of her, but he could not be sent far far away and she wasn't Galadriel and she didn't have Nenya so she would have to settle for feeling very noxious.  
"Having fun, Lunwe?" Rose asked sweetly from outside the door.  
"Go kiss an orc!" Lunwe muttered under her breath. And loud enough for Rose to hear she retorted through gritted teeth, "Oh, now you would be having a LOT more fun if Riley was here wouldn't you?"  
Rose acted shocked as she bumped the door open *accidentally* "OMG!" Rose squealed, turning quickly. "Get his clothes on and get them on NOW!"  
Lunwe knew she was in trouble when Cicy came in holding hands with the star she obsessed about OTHER than Legolas. (And all those after that) The trouble was, the door was open. "Rose!" She hissed. "Close the door!"  
"Are his clothes on yet? Now? Now? I can't look!" Rose continued to mutter.  
Unable to reach the door because the elf was between her and it, Lunwe reached over the elf to slam the door shut. Too late. Cicy had seen her in a rather awkward position above the elf and was now laughing hysterically. She swung the door open wide and handed the elf a card. "This is the social worker's number. If you call, I'm sure someone else will be glad to adopt you." Still snickering uncontrollably, she swaggered out of the room like a drunk and went for a *snack* with Oliver.  
Yvonne saw Cicy coming out of Kelsey's house laughing with Oliver. They seem to be having a good time, she thought. What's going on here? Entering the house, for the door was still broken; she peeked into the room that had the door open... Kelsey's room. "Kelse..." She screamed as she saw something... she shouldn't have seen. "Yikes! Kelsey! Of all the things to do..."  
"No! It's NOT what you think!" Lunwe cried almost in hysterics, her cheeks flaming. "And for the last time! It's LUNWE! Not KELSEY!!" She threw the last of Legolas' clothes at him and fled the bathroom. "Rose! You idiot! I HATE YOU!" She shrieked at Rose but gasped as she saw the scene in front of her; Riley was there. Lunwe didn't want to think about how he had gotten there but she knew she would be scarred from what she saw. "Valar, Elbereth, Eru! Why me? Why, oh why!?" Lunwe was trapped; Rose and Riley were blocking the door, and the window which was beside it. The only other place of safety was the bathroom but HE was in there and she could NOT allow anyone to think what was NOT happening was. "Oooh, man!" She murmured what on Arda was she going to do?  
Lunwe almost screeched as Riley for down on one knee and opened a velvet box in front of Rose. She couldn't hear a word, but she had a pretty good idea. "Noo! Don't do it, Rose! Say no!" Grabbing the box away, her hand touched something warm and squishy. "What the...?" She lifted her hand to reveal a piece of hamburger. "What's this?"  
Rose rolled her eyes and went back to gazing at Riley. "Yes, I will."  
Lunwe stopped, puzzled. "You're getting married with a hamburger?"  
"Lunwe, Lunwe, Lunwe..." Rose had that way of making her feel so much younger, and stupider than she was. "Riley simply asked me to eat this hamburger. That's all... now run along."  
Lunwe didn't have the time, however, as the three heard the sound of a rather strange groan. They looked toward the washroom where Legolas and Yvonne were behind the closed door.  
Lunwe looked ready to faint, what was going on here? "Rosie?" She whispered as the ground started to sway under her. Rose quickly came up to her and muttered in her ear, "I think I hear Evanescence playing." That was the one thing that would bring Lunwe out of a daze even faster then Lembas and Oreo cookies. She squared her shoulders and pushed on the bathroom door, just as it was being opened from the inside. Yvonne strolled out with the Prince in tow. "What did you do to him?" Lunwe asked awestruck, he looked normal! Could it be that her nightmare would end, peacefully?  
"O nothing, just fixing his hair and making him look more, guyish, should I say," Yvonne grinned at Lunwe's face. "So you mean you didn't. .." Lunwe stared at Yvonne in hope mixed with horror.  
"Eww! No way! That's gross!" Yvonne shrieked in a very Yvonnish way. Her face took on a thoughtful look, "Hey, why didn't.." Lunwe cut her off quickly, "Continue that thought and you will regret it!" She shuddered.  
It was then when Cicy returned holding hands with Oliver, "Hey where's Lego?" She opened her mouth to say more but her breath whooshed out of her as Yvonne tackled her screaming, "You player! Get away from him! You're date with him is TOMORROW!!! TODAY IS MY DAY!!"  
Meanwhile Lunwe was looking around worriedly, "Umm, guys, if we've lost Lego we are gonna be really, Really dead." 


	3. Snowstorms and Climbing Trees

"You know, someone's daddy is going to be REALLY mad." Rose pointed out the obvious while sitting on the couch, devouring the hamburger Riley had given her.  
"No duh," growled Lunwe, holding her head, desperately sorting through the medicine cabinet for aspirin or Tylenol, because her head was humming like a honeybee. Cicy, Yvonne and Oliver James were standing up, Yvonne and Cicy throwing hysterical scratches at each other while each pulling on one arm of the unfortunate Oliver James, who gazed with cloudy eyes at the hysterics unfolding. Riley, having to run out of things to do, went scavenging around the house for more food.  
"Hey, check the drawer under the oven." Rose told Riley, having finished the last of the hamburger, and pulled out a pair of binoculars, surveying the grounds for any sign of the lost elf.  
"Maybe we should put up some of those LOST posters, you know, ELF LOST, REWARD $10, something like that." Rose advised, while Lunwe groaned in terror.  
"NO! We don't want the whole Middle-Earth to know that the prince is missing!'  
"Eh, suit yourself." Rose shrugged"  
"This is ALL your fault!" Lunwe glared at Rose, we could've locked him in the bathroom but NO, you were too busy drooling over your *cough* engagement *cough* hamburger with Riley!" "This is my fault?" Rose asked in disbelief, stomach growling from hunger, "*I* wasn't the one who knocked him out in the first place!"  
"Shut up, you evil one." Lunwe spared an evil glance at the progressing cat fight; it was reaching a fever pitch. "You bloody, dirty, rotten, horrible, cheating thief! This is my day! We planned it for the next 5 years!" Yvonne shrieked near hysterics. Her abuse had turned to slapping Cicy because she was on a slapping spree that day.  
"What? I have a life too," Oliver James muttered, his face screwed up in pain, "Me and Amanda Bynes were.. ." He trailed off as he saw the glares that both were giving him.  
"What! That Bytch! How, how, HOW COULD YOU!?" Cicy spluttered out. Yvonne gave him a death glare that could have peeled paint.  
"Umm.. ." Ollie tried to back into a corner. Yvonne and Cicy were advancing on him like wargs on a scent.  
  
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"What was that." said Rose, already knowing all too well what it was. "Legolas!" Cicy squeaked, "I know that blonde elf's scream anywhere!" "How can you not." Riley muttered, covering up his ears, "That's such a girly scream, I bet that guy's gay." Yvonne and Cicy left Oliver James, and began to advance on Riley with claws extended. "COME?ON" Lunwe screamed, "He's out there! It's minus 50 degree out there and he's in some sort of trouble! I can't let him die, Thranduil'll KILL me!" With that Lunwe jumped into her boots, grabbed her cloak and stumbled out of the door. "Come on," Rose muttered, putting on her coat and following out into the snow after Lunwe, taking Riley with her. Wonder what's left of that fish.she thought, well, five seconds rule! They all went out, and was greeted by the sight of Lunwe, on her knees in the snow, gazing in terror at a large snow-covered mallorn tree outside her house, a strand of silky blonde hair hanging down from under the snow of the highest branch. "O no, no no no no. This CAN'T be happening!" Lunwe gasped out. "You started it, you must climb the tree," Rose smiled sweetly with all the charm of Melkor. All other comments she had to use against Lunwe were lost as she was pelted straight in the head by a snowball, "You dissed Lego! You must die!" Yvonne and Cicy chanted over and over as they hurled snowballs from behind a hastily constructed snow fort. "I OOOF, didn't mean, Oww, it like that! Ahh! Riley said it anyway!" Rose was getting hammered.  
Lunwe ducked, barely avoiding getting hit by an overly large snowball. Riley and Ollie had retreated to the cover of the door and were smirking at Lunwe with evil grins, besides the fact that Riley was trying to eat the snow.  
"Well, I guess there's only one way," She looked up, "Up." She gulped as the tree looked a LOT taller than it did in her room. "Ooof!" She cried as a snowball smashed into her stomach. That did it, grimly, teeth clenched, she started to gingerly clamber up the icy tree. Lunwe was never very good at climbing tree's, she wasn't much of a nature person. But still the blonde hair was starting to freeze before her eyes at the top of the tree, and Lunwe told herself very not optimistically that if Legolas lived she would go and marry him. "Hey Lunwe,' Rose smiled down at her from the top of the trees, waving gracefully as she perched on Legolas' branch. Lunwe gaped in horror. "HOW." "It's called a ladder, Kels,' Rose smirked, calling her by her non-elvish name. "It took a while for us to put it up.why were you so ANXIOUS?" "JUST GET THAT DAMNED ELF ON THE GROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Fine." Rose smiled and shoved the elf, snow and all, down from the top of the two hundred and fifty feet tree. "Ooh, look at that." She mused as the limp, ice shielded body of the prince twirled down endlessly into what seemed to her a strange synchronized air ballet. She watched as a little red dot, presumably Cicy since it was the lowest dot, it moved under the chunk of Lego-ice, he fell on top of the red dot. There was a piercing scream and a shatter of what Rose fondly imagined to be red glasses (actually light purplish), and then silence. "Rose you DUMBHEAD! WHY THE HECK DID YOU DO THAT!?!" Lunwe screamed at her. She tried to reach up and grab Rose, but her foot slipped. "Ahhhhh!" She screamed as the world twirled around her. This time no one was there to catch her, but that didn't mean Cicy and Legolas had moved yet.  
*WHAM* Lunwe looked around her, dazed, where was Legolas? That dumb whiney annoying elf that she had fallen off a tree for. It was then that she heard a groan beneath her. She sat up from the spread-eagled position that she had landed in and looked down. All she could see was a spot of blond hair and the tips of two pointy ears. Lunwe crawled up, Rose had already climbed down the ladder, and she along with Yvonne, Riley and Oliver James were starring down in shock at her. Lunwe groaned and started to claw the ice off Legolas. "Psh, forget about the elf, what happened to Cicy?" Rose sighed and kicked Legolas away from the snow below him and grabbed a corner of a red jacket sticking out of the snow (somewhat compressed by Legolas' fall). She pulled, but found the snow too compressed. "Hey come on help me out here!" Rose exclaimed, Lunwe and Yvonne were busy squealing and pawing the snow off Legolas stiff body, that elf's as dead as Kelsey's doorknob, she told herself, and then added, "Hey you, Oliver James, Riley, give me a hand." "But it's.CICY!" Oliver James whined, Rose snarled and grabbed him by the collar, half choking him. "Help or I'm gonna set you up with Yvonne.PERMENANTLY!" Oliver James gasped, and the three started tugging Cicy out of the hole. Lunwe turned Legolas' face up so he can breathe, he looked dead, elves heal fast.Lunwe tried to reassure herself, Yvonne licked her lips anxiously, "Maybe we can try the sleeping beauty thing." She urged, "Hey, anything to save his life." Yvonne started to lean down, but Cicy popped out of the ice hole at the same time, and just before Yvonne succeeded a small flash of red tackled her to the ground. "I'll teach you.to mess with my man!" Cicy screeched and tried to pinch her initials onto Yvonne's arm, but Yvonne was struggling and clawing too, Rose sat down on the snow and watched the frenzy in interest. The mess was suddenly interrupted. "He's coming around!" Lunwe screamed, and gathered Legolas up to shake him by the shoulders, Rose gathered around with the rest, even Cicy and Yvonne had stopped fighting and was watching. Legolas opened his eyes slowly, and looked around in a bewildered expression. "Where is my grandmother?" He said in a voice too calm and thin, "Where's lady Galadriel?" "My god." Lunwe heard Rose whisper, "He's lost it!" Oh no, oh NO NO NO.thought Lunwe, he just barely lived, not this! Not now.she winced in desperation, and spoke in a shaky voice. "Ok.who are you?" Lunwe asked, testing if he remembered. "Why I'm Arwen Undomiel." He smiled serenely, "Have you seen my brothers, Elladan and Elrohir?" "Told you he was gay." Riley muttered through the shocked expressions. Without warning the blizzard started up again from the temporary lull it had been in. "We have to get him inside!" Rose hollered over the howling wind. Seeing she was the closest to him, Lunwe grimaced and picked up the deadweight Elven Prince and once again, began to drag him up the stairs to her house. 


	4. Eyebrows Unleashed

Disclaimer: *Sob* I don't own Lego! Waaah!! . Or anything else. Waaah!  
  
Well, it is getting more disturbing than ever. I actually had to cut something that, Cicy *Gives Cicy an evil look*  
  
Finally, the group managed to get inside without further mishap. Of course, if you don't count the bloody arms Cicy and Yvonne had. Rose started to heat a large jar of hot chocolate. Only for herself, of course.  
"What do you mean my grandmother Galadriel isn't here? She promised to take me to the Elf Fair!"  
Lunwe tried to comfort the elf, mostly in vain. This was especially hard since Rose was licking the jar of hot chocolate clean. It even had marshmallows! OK... now this is getting gross. Lunwe turned in distaste as Rose started hand feeding Riley a couple of marshmallows.  
*CRASH*  
"Wha...?" Oliver turned to Cicy wiping her hands together with a very satisfied expression. He also noticed Yvonne had disappeared. He wondered if this had anything to do with the window Cicy was currently closing.  
"OK... I'm officially announcing the fact that we're dead." Lunwe groaned in despair.  
"There is still hope," Legolas sighed with that Arwen-like expression.  
"Hey, Lunwe, where's that cake from last year?" Rose was rummaging through her old cabinets in search for food.  
Lunwe rolled her eyes. "I threw it out, DUH!"  
Rose gasped, unbelieving. "You threw away good food!" She started towards the main hall as the front door opened. No one inside knew who it was, but from Rose's joyful cry of "The Gay Dude's Here!" Everyone could give quite a good guess.  
Elrond gave Rose the freaky eyebrow look as he strolled in, throwing back his hood, which immediately froze her solid in shock, not at all from the cold, "My styles are all from the latest magazine, Chatelaine, I believe it was called, and I know it is quite masculine." He tapped Rose on the shoulder in a reprimand; he looked puzzled when she didn't move from her frozen position. He was brought out of his pondering by a squeal from inside the room, "Daddy! I'm so glad you're here! We have had like, so much fun and we even like got to go to the Gap of Rohan. Well almost, boring Boromir distracted Arry from making his point to go there. So instead we went to these nasty mines and I was like, Yuk! And it was so like gross, and then this freaky flaming thing came out and it was like SO Eldar days styles, it gave me nightmares! "  
Lunwe closed her eyes in disgust; he really thought he was Arwen then. Unless he talked like that normally but she had a feeling that even though he was annoying, he wasn't THAT girly. "Ahh," Elrond muttered, looking disturbed, "What do we have here?" "Elrond, this is.um.this is." Lunwe stammered, scratching her head. "Your daughter of course," said Rose, coming out of paralysis and putting on a pair of shades, "Don't you love her makeover at the spa, and the hairdressers, and the cosmetic surgery unit?" "Lovely." Elrond said and raised an eyebrow, freezing the unfortunate Oliver James before he had a chance to shield his eyes. "Whoa!" Cicy gasped, "He's FROZEN! Now I can try all the things I wanted to do with him and never could 'cause he fought back! YAAAAA! FUN TIME!!!!!!" Cicy squealed and dragged Oliver James' body into the bathroom, taking his jacket off on the way, the door to the bathroom closed and everyone looked away, trying to ignore the disturbing sounds and shut off their imaginations. "So." Elrond began, "How are you dearest, has Aragorn been good to you?" Lunwe sighed in relief and thought that she would die. "Oh him." Legolas sighed, "He's been at war too much, and I'm so bored! But." Legolas smiled disturbingly and walked up to put his arm around Riley (who suddenly looked mortified.don't you love that word Kez?) "I found a cuter brunette." "AAWWW EWEWWW!" Riley gasped, shoving Legolas off him, "GAY GAY GAY!!!!! HE'S GAYER THAN KEVIN!!!!!!" Rose had grabbed Legolas around the neck and was strangling him and banging his head against a grandfather clock in Lunwe's room at the same time. "Back Off! Get your own food!" She snapped and cut off the elf's breathing circulation, Lunwe and Elrond (who could do nothing since she was wearing shades) stared in horror as Legolas' eyes rolled far back into his head, he gave a small whine, and went limp.  
"O great! Now look what you've done! Again!" Lunwe scowled angrily at Rose.  
"I'm doing this for your own good! Don't you see it! Your brother died because he tried to take the Ring!" Rose looked very confused. Lunwe stared at her, "No no Rosie," Lunwe said using her nickname for Rose, "Sam says that, in a couple of months, when they get to Faramir!" "O, right. Anyways," Just then Rose heard a particularly loud noise from the bathroom; she closed her eyes, and tried her best to blank out the disturbing images her mind was conjuring up. "Visualize! Visualize!" Lunwe chanted, grinning evilly. "Chapter 4, The Easterling! You visualize!" Rose grinned triumphantly as Lunwe crumpled to the floor muttering "Noo, eww, sick, gross! I HATE YOU ROSE!!!" Through out the whole exchange of words between Lunwe and Rose, Elrond had been slowly trying to figure out what was going on. "What, if he," Elrond motioned slowly at Riley who was chewing on his sleeve for the lack of anything else to eat, "Called my darling a him, what? Would that mean that. .." He trailed off looking puzzled. "Riley's not been feeling well today," Lunwe cut in as she glared daggers at Riley, "He didn't mean anything by it I'm Sure!" She glared at him one more time to make sure he got it. There was a muffled thud on the window from outside. It was ignored the first time. "What?" Riley said, shrugging, giving Rose one of his amateur Elrond looks that made her sigh and shake her head, "What I TOLD you he was gay, just like Paul Kim is gay." "HIM???" Elrond repeated, looking more confused than ever, the thud came again on the window, not ignorable. Rose walked up to the window and opened it, "Yvonne!" She said delightedly, "Oh good, I thought you were dead! Now." "Out of my way!" Yvonne gasped, out of breath, her clothes were torn and ripped from climbing up the side of the tower. "I have to use the washroom! I can't wait any longer!" She heaved herself into the room and ran toward the bathroom. "Uh, Yvon." Lunwe began, but Rose silenced her and gave a low, evil cackle. Yvonne opened the door, and screamed. "Wha." Oliver James said faintly, waking from his paralyzed state, Cicy was flung out of the bathroom and the door slammed shut behind her, locking with a faint click. Cicy screamed and clawed at the door. "Come ON YVONNE!" She wailed, "Let me IN!!! I'll SHARE??!!! COME ON!!!!!" Half an hour later, Yvonne emerged through the bathroom, looking warm despite the cold weather, and slightly disheveled. "Whew," she said, dazed, "I guess ripped clothes really turn guys on." 'O Valar!' Lunwe thought disturbed. At her side, since she was still on the ground from the heavy blow Rose had given her, she heard a low groan. It was Legolas; Finally waking from the beating Rose had given to him. 'Violent Rose,' Lunwe thought in her bemused state, but it wasn't the first time she had been damaged; There had been this time when Rose had poked her in one of her pressure points and she'd almost blacked out. Or when Rose had pushed her off of a High balance beam when her back had been turned to her. Lunwe was brought sharply out of her pained musings by another groan from the elf. "Oh my poor dear!" Elrond rushed over to the younger elf's side, "Are you quite all right, baby?" Legolas now in his right mind, glared at Elrond. "What in the name of Eru are you talking about? I'm NOT your baby whoever you think I am. Go find Arwen!" Elrond, terribly offended, glared back. "I do not have an affair with my daughter!" "Your daughter!" Legolas shivered, but whatever he planned on saying next was interrupted with a rather noisy clunk. Lunwe and Cicy winced as they heard Rose's loud cry of, "Give it to me, Riley! I want it!" They shared *The Look* as they watched her start stripping him in the middle of the living room. Elrond, by now, was fully interested, and only held back by Legolas, he cried, "Can I jump in? Now? How about now? I want to jump in!" And while that was happening, Yvonne entered the room, having changed into Lunwe's old clothes, and ignoring the whole fuss between Rose and Riley, she looked out the window, she almost fell out. Running out the door (into the bitter cold) she gave a squeal that rang forever in those nearby, emotionally scarring them for life. Lunwe and Cicy shared another *Look*. Shrugging, Lunwe replied the unspeakable, "She's just being Yvonne, I suppose." This satisfying the both of them, they turned back to watch the show of "Riley and Rose".  
  
Insane Orli: Cicy would like to inform you that she is NOT Cory. She is Cicy, or CC, or EE, or Sissie, as teachers call her when they first read her name. Lolz! ^_^  
  
You feel the pull! The mouse is dragging to the bottom left corner. Go On! Review! Don't just sit there with a bemused and mildly disgusted look on your face!! 


	5. The Fish Gets A Cameo!

Disclaimer: Tolkien? *Smiles sweetly* May I borrow Legolas, just for a while! Please. What! I can't have him! *Pouts* Sigh, we don't own anyone but our sad little selves..  
  
Well we're back AGAIN!!! Lolz! Another chapter, again, as usual.  
  
Rose had gotten Riley's shirt over his shoulders when she screeched and dove for an object unknown to the avidly watching crowd. She came up victoriously with a fish in her hand. It was The Fish, Lunwe stared, so *that* was where it had gotten to. She fought the urge to throw up as Rose took a Huge triumphant bite out of the fishes side. Her attention was distracted by another ear splitting scream from Yvonne and a huge crash that she didn't even want to think about.  
  
Lunwe winced as her front door split into a million pieces. "I GOT HIM! I GOT HIM!" Yvonne squealed. Lunwe sighed... until she noticed the hottest guy ever entering her living room. She scampered across the room to *make the guest feel welcome*. "It's Orli! It's Orli!" Yvonne jumped up and down until Elrond's eyebrow froze her in midair... literally.  
  
"Whoa, look at her!" Cicy said, whistling as she watched Yvonne hang in midair in a screaming pose, she punched Yvonne in the shin and smiled, "haha.I'm not done with you yet." just then she noticed Orli standing in the room, Cicy's eyebrows came over her glasses as she fainted like a pile of old clothes on the floor, then recovered to drape herself around Orli.  
  
"Uh.do you mind? Cause you are.kinda.heavy." Orli choked, not noticing Oliver James standing in a dark corner sighing in relief, standing in his boxers which Cicy and Yvonne had reduced him to.  
  
Orli tried to shove Cicy off him, looking around the room; his eyes fell on Lunwe. Goodbye Sun, Goodbye Moon. She thought as she passed out next to Cicy, who had fainted again. That was when he saw Legolas. "Hey! Who do you think you are? Are you crazy? That's MY role, I was Legolas, stop copying me!" Orli demanded, colour mounting on his cheeks. "Excuse me?" Legolas asked coolly, "I am Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood, and I have never seen you before in my life. Though, you do seem similar to me somehow. .." He Trailed off and stared hard at Orli.  
  
Orli continued to scowl at Legolas. "Those are my cheekbones!" He screamed at the elf, while raising his cheek to the other to make his point.  
  
Backing away, the elf held two palms up. "Sorry, I'm not gay, nor am I French, so I don't plan on kissing your cheek hello." Orli attempted his little kung-fu pose, but could not hold it for long, and ended up toppling over on Lunwe, who had just gotten out of her dead faint. So yes, she fainted again. (This is SO Tamora Pierce... everyone's fainting!)  
  
"I'M NOT GAY EITHER!" Orli screamed, trying to look tough after he had tripped. "Neither am I. But may I ask what in Valar are you doing here?" Legolas was looking slightly skeptical as he looked at the ranting actor.  
  
"WHAT? YOU HAVE MY EYEBROWS TOO!! WTF!" Orli screamed again, ignoring Legolas' question. Lunwe looked from actor to Elf Prince and in her slightly out of it state, was wondering why she had liked Orli. Legolas was obviously hotter and had a better personality. WAIT! HOLD THAT THOUGHT! STOP RIGHT THERE! Lunwe smacked herself mentally, coming out of her strange state. She did NOT like that annoying, stupid, bratty, and handsome. WOAH! STOP RIGHT THERE! She whacked herself again in her mind. What was wrong with her? Fainting was obviously bad for her health and judgement. Just then Orli stepped on her, again.  
  
As if that wasn't bad enough, Rose started dancing across the room, singing, "And you were like woah! And I was like WOAH! And we were like... woah..."  
  
One good thing though, for Yvonne had started obsessing over Orli, yet Cicy was calmly all over Ollie for that moment. Life was all right... for that moment.  
  
But could life ever really be normal for these elves and humans? The answer is very, very simple. No. It was then, after what must have been over an hour that Elrond figured out what was going on. "Wait. You're not my baby! Who are you? What am I doing here and what in the name of Eru did you do to Arwen?" He demanded shrilly, looking as though he would explode. Yvonne thought this would be a very bad time to point out that the tags on his robe were sticking out. She wrinkled her nose, not even from Jacob Annexe. (CC!! DID I SPELL THAT RIGHT?? Calm down... you spelled it right... I think) Rose was abruptly halted in her Finding Nemo dance as Elrond lifted his hand, where Vilya, his Ring of Power was glowing.  
  
"Oh dear me," Legolas squealed, now picking up the Winnie the Pooh voice he learned from TV (It does something to your minds you know, evil TV) "Oh brother... think, think, think!"  
  
Elrond rolled her (I mean his... no I mean her *snicker*) eyes and wove her (Heh) hand in front of her (Hehe) audience and started his 'chant'. "You are getting sleepy. You are getting very sleepy! You are asleep! If you hear me, raise your right hand."  
  
Everyone raised their right hand, except for Riley who raised his left hand because he didn't know the difference. Really, don't blame the poor guy.  
  
"Hey why's everybody lying on the ground?" Riley scratched his head, everyone was lying on the ground, apparently asleep except for Elrond, who was who caught up in gloating at his reflection in the shiny ring to notice that one person was still standing.  
  
"My.PRECIOUSSSSS." Elrond stroked his ring, or rather, the reflection of himself in the ring. "Look at those eye," He was muttering to himself, "look at those b-e-a-utiful eyes.don't they look FIIINE on you!" Then he started saying, "lookin' good dude" and "there's a handsome lad" and other presumably disturbing sentences to himself, not noticing Riley examining the people lying around in the room.  
  
"Huh." Riley said, amused, and poked around the room to see if the people on the floor were still awake, "Hey, fun." He decided, and kicked Oliver James in the ribs as hard as he could. Oliver James was rolled over onto his face by the kick, but other than that showed no movement or consciousness.  
  
"Hey good," thought Riley, "Now I can do stuff with these unconscious people." He turned his attention to Rose; he swore she had food on her somewhere.  
  
Elrond, who was still muttering over his ring, "Mirror, mirror, on my Ring," distracted his attention. "Who has the prettiest...?"  
  
Riley covered his ears at the last moment; even with his hair short, he wasn't dumb enough to not be able to rhyme with "Ring". He shuddered, shook his head and turned back to Rose. He poked her, the first touch was always important. She groaned in her sleep and rolled over, muttering what sounded like, "The light... It's So... Pretty. I feel... Happy! And that's unusual for me. Riley backed off, scared by her Nemo spouting.  
  
"OH HOT FISH!" Rose cried in her sleep. Riley suddenly turned his focus on Rose. Food! He thought.  
  
"Fish!" He snickered, as he ran over and bent in an awkward position over Rose. Riley then started to strip her trying to look for the fish... in... Err... strange places.  
  
First he tried under her hair. Riley was never really of the smart batch. Finding nothing he proceeded to look in her shoes. He took one off and stuck his nose inside, mouth watering from the thought of food. He closed his eyes; already imagining the delicious food that Rose kept in her.. .. Erm, shoe, and took a huge whiff. His eyes crossed slightly, from the horrible smell that he had just inhaled. He flopped onto the floor next to Rose, his hand landing on a not so appropriate place on Rose.  
  
Elrond, by now, had noticed a little 'action' going on between his *patients*. However when he noticed Rose and Riley doing a little something, (Rose had now shifted in her sleep and was in an awkward position around Riley's hand) he just decided that they were such a cute couple. So Elrond just *let them be*.  
  
Unfortunately for the two, Elrond always knew when there was something funny that could happen, so he woke the group up. He had turned around to meditate on it with his ring and instantly knew they were awake when there was feminine scream from Rose... or maybe Riley.  
  
"RAPIST!" Rose squealed, pointing at Riley. Then realizing who it was, she said sorry to everyone and gave Riley an *adorable* (If she's capable of that) and sheepish look.  
  
"What?" Riley asked looking at her mockingly, "YOU, are the one doing stuff with MY hand." Rose looked shocked, Riley had actually said one sentence without food being involved. Riley saw the look on Rose's face and immediately turned pale. "NO!" He screamed. He did it again, Rose thought smugly. "I was *ONLY* looking for food!" He hollered, close to hysterics, "I looked in your shoe for something, and then... I don't know what happened, you screamed. I think." He blinked, looked lost and confused, like a little boy (That's not far from the truth) who has just lost his favourite toy. Rose had turned pale as Riley told her that he only wanted food, That was dangerous in itself, but when he said he looked in her shoe. Rose's face turned so fast from white to red that it looked like Riley's blood on the snow outside. "You. Looked. In. MY. SHOE. FOR. FOOD?" Rose said haltingly, anger written across her face, and her clenching and unclenching hands. Riley was oblivious to it all, "Yes," he answered straightly. Lunwe, having woken from her ring induced sleep, saw Rose's face and quickly brought up a shield that had the words, "ElfAcme, Rose protection shield." Branded across the front.  
  
Cicy had also woken up and noticed Lunwe's shield. Hiding behind the other girl, she whispered the name sure to cause a reaction. "Kate Bosworth's right outside your door and there's no lock..."  
  
Go Cicy. Lunwe sprung up and ran tripping and spluttering on the way, dropping the shield as Cicy thought she would. Grabbing the shield, Cicy disappeared under the block of who-knows-what just as a bright (Fiery) light came from Rose... 


End file.
